The rat

Hello again

My old unfriendly friend

I feel you rage

Boiling up again

Inside my skin.

Is it the self abuse

That's triggered you,

Or merely a boredom

Hungering for drama

You wouldn't want to deal with.

As the plans slip, flip, 

As the peril

Rushes up 

Bile heart burn throat crushing lungs tightened red eyed frightened swelling vomit cascades

The train derails as I fail to remain competent, a cog cracked in the machine careening in a sterile peril of a caged rage crushing against my spleen

Everything is perfect and there is nothing wrong with me, and yet my seams seem pushed to the limit and my fist clench irrationally as if trying to grasp at a figmentive reality that sees all plans run smoothly, a summer of falling apart as one hand finally makes a start while the other takes a rest, blessed and cursed to be last and first and lost and lost and accosting myself. 

Why the worry, why stress, why keep this mess up in the cranium, sweltering swollen beating on my temples.

Lives matter

White people generally speaking are not shot for traffic violations. The problem of American racism and profiling is it is easier to kill something you have dehumanized. By devaluing one person compared to another, not realizing they have parents, children, siblings, hopes and dreams, but treating them as an animal, you open a door to abuses to justice and fairness, which generally are not suffered by the middle class white population. BLM is not debating whether one life matters more then another, only fighting to find justice for the inordinate amount of dehumanization by police and society. Every movement has its zealots that lose focus on the original message once it gains traction, but put yourself in the shoes of those being persecuted, even murdered, and you'll understand that it's not about you. Rather then support the mildly racist sentiment of 'all lives matter' spouted by the white right, consider why and where these people are coming from, the terror of knowing that simply being a different colour can make you a target. If gingers were being murdered by police for infractions that would generally get a fine, and getting away with it, you may wish to remind the world that your life matters as well. It's not playing a childish race card, it's a fight for a peaceful survival.

Book

 the bible is a book, written by man, translated by man, even if guided by the good intentions of an omnipotent God, it is also read and misinterpreted by man daily, words twisted to serve purposes not even proposed outside Leviticus. The flaw in man is always our arrogance in our beliefs, and our belief that that arrogance is well founded bound to our own spirituality. We creatures against pride and lust, gluttony and wrath, throwing each other under buses on the war path to a glorious after life, never seeing the strain and strife our book wielding hands lay upon our fellow man trying to make it through life in this tattering land. Afraid the frayed ends cannot be tied, it's not so clear and clever as the print in pages pretend, not so cut and dried papyrus stained that you must find the truth ingrained because the fact is it can't be explained, just energy filled cells bound together, tethered to a rock that will exist long after the transcripts upon which you rely. But this is just my honest opinion and I am just one guy. Love.